A Man's Perspective

1. Two times a week, my wife and I go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship... she goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.



2. We also sleep in separate beds.... hers is in California and mine is in Texas.... I planning on moving further east.



3. I take my wife everywhere.....but she keeps finding her way back.



4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary, "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. I suggested the kitchen.



5. We always hold hands.... if I let go... she shops.



6 She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. She said to me, "There're too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" ... So I bought her an electric chair.

What?



7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she paused then said, "In the lake."



8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.. then the mud fell off....

C'MON, that one has to be funny...!



9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage...?" The driver said "No, jump in!"



10. I married Miss Right... I just didn't know her first name was Always.



11. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months... I don't like to interrupt her.


12. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"


13. She asked me last night if the dress made her look fat... I said it wasn't the dress...

Why aren't you laughing??

Quotes are from Red Skeleton - except for the bold comments, they're mine.